Mission "Mad Scientist"

[Blogger’s choice #1: Submitted by Anonymous]

Once there was a mad scientist. He liked pudding. He wanted to create a new invention. He sat in his lair for hours upon hours trying to create a new concoction. He tried making flavors like bug, toenail, watermelon, and even boogers! And he always had his buddy Cuppycake by his side (Cuppycake is a living cup cake). Then one day Cuppycake said, “Hey, you should make me into a flavor!” So the mad scientist threw his buddy Cuppycake into the cooking thing, then WHAM. The best new flavor ever. Cupcake flavored pudding. He ate his best friend (and only friend at that) in a pudding cup because his love for pudding was so strong. The end!

[Blogger’s choice #2: Submitted by rlvsro@gmail.com]

There once was a man named Harold. Harold was a nice guy, but he was very, very short. Everyone made fun of him and it made him bitter and crazy. He decided he wanted to become taller, so he built himself some custom stilts. They weren't what he wanted though; he wanted to be exceptionally tall! So he captured a giraffe and transplanted its legs onto his body and put his legs on its body. Then he was too tall and people were scared of him! So he decided a trip to Samoa with an antelope was the proper way to go about this. He ate many mangoes and threw up a crocodile. He met George Washington on a crowded subway and ate his wig! Needless to say, Harold is now Hannah and lives in a tree next to the Aurora Borealis.

[Blogger’s choice #3: Submitted by Margaret Andrews]

One day a mad scientist was doing an experiment in his laboratory. He had always been odd as a child and hadn't had many friends, so he wanted to invent something that would help fill the hole in his heart and make the whole world know his name. He had been working day and night for two months and was on the verge of creating something amazing. He took a syringe and gingerly let a single drop of the substance drop into the smoking beaker. A cloud of dirty, grey smoke rose up as it landed, and the liquid in the beaker turned a poison green. The mad man let out a groan of triumph and wiped the perspiration from his face. All those weeks of slaving over his test tubes had paid off and soon he would no longer have to be alone.

He'd tried and failed many times before that moment to rid himself of the ache in his heart. Some of his early attempts even were as daring as to go into the world outside of his lab and try make friends with some of the many people that rushed by, but each time someone failed to acknowledge his existence--or worse yet, look upon him with looks of disgust as their eyes traveled from his stained, frayed clothes to his dirty, smudged face--just dampened his spirits even more. "I've never had friends and never will," he'd think to himself night after night. But something inside him told him to keep trying.

The scientist took the beaker and poured it down the mouth of the caged monkey on the table beside him. You could see the colour drain from the monkey’s face, even in the dim, red tinged light of the lab. The monkey began twitching and convulsing on the floor of its cage and then suddenly came to a halt and began choking. After having a fit of choking and coughing, the monkey spluttered out the words "Wh-what are you doing to me?” “Success,” the scientist whispered under his breath, and he whisked the monkey and the cage out of the lab.

The mad scientist squinted from the bright sun reflecting off of the big building. After a minute or two he finally decided to go inside. He nervously asked the lady at the front desk where he could find the head scientist. "Third floor, second door to the right," she droned. When the man reached the office his heart was pounding, but he pushed the door open and quickly stepped inside.

When he stepped outside again he had a broad smile etched on his face. He was going to be famous and everyone would love him soon enough, he thought happily to himself. Now all he had to do was wait.

Over the next few months the scientist was happy as he had ever been. He was constantly be taken from talk shows to science conferences to meetings, and all the attention was finally on him: the man who made animals talk. He had been completely made over and now looked like the kind of person whom you might see sitting in the corner office of the biggest building in town. He was so excited that people were actually accepting him that he had no time to think about anything else. His old, dingy laboratory where he had spent so much time was a mere memory and he had a new life.

Soon, though, the excitement died down and he didn't have any more talk shows to go on and there were new discoveries being made that seemed to interest people more. He couldn't figure out why nobody wanted his autograph anymore or why people were so tired of hearing about how his invention came to be. His hair became long and unstyled again and his clothes torn and dirty. He was running out of money and his agent stopped calling. He would have nowhere else to go but back to his lowly old laboratory. He was nobody anymore and he knew it.

He flipped the light switch on the wall and his old home was dully illuminated, and as he put the monkey (who was fast asleep) in his cage, he shed a tear because he knew all along that it was too good to be true.