Mission "Food Fight"

[Blogger’s choice: Submitted by Poke-chan]

Hi, I'm what some people call a "drumstick.” Y'all can call me Drum. I'm here to tell you a little story. A story of a war between Tofu, a healthy food of the Vegetarians, and Soy, the savior of the Lactose Intolerant. Now, I don't much give a hoot about either of them, 'cause you see, we don't normally cross paths. But this was something that blew my ever lovin', deep fried mind!

Here's how it started: Soy usually stuck to the fake milk sections and stuff, right? Well, Tofu learned how to make this juice thing and was gettin' all up in Soy's territory. This is where a lot of us learned Soy don't take shi--I mean, doesn't stand for that kind of stuff. I mean, I was as surprised as the Crackers, but they never really know what goes on behind the scenes and junk, ya know? Anyway, Soy got pissed.

Tofu was not intimidated and didn't back down when Soy started talking the talk. Tofu is pretty cocky, on account that he knows to-fu or something like that. But Soy had some street fight in her. The pair of them fought and fought. It was worse than the Great Condiment War. Before anyone knew up from down there were Soy and Tofu coming in from all over the world. Neither side backed down an inch, and no a one ever hesitated to crush the other.

The battle went on for years; countless animal-friendly people starved in that time. Finally, it was brought to an end by the Mighty Whole Wheat. It came between the two feuding foods and told them to cool it. He showed them what they were doing, all the harm that was coming to the people who counted on them for nourishment.

They saw the light, and settled for peace, joining their two kingdoms and becoming one.

Moral of this tale? Don't mess with health food, they be crazy!